


The Worst Kind of Pain

by completlyfakerebel



Category: Star Wars: Rebels
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Not really violent but better safe than sorry
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-09-05
Updated: 2016-10-09
Packaged: 2018-08-13 05:21:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,093
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7964044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/completlyfakerebel/pseuds/completlyfakerebel
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Hera gets seriously injured during a mission, leaving Sabine to cope on her own.</p>
<p>Hera & Sabine deserve so much more than what they have.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Sabine was wondering around, tripping over discarded boxes, in an abandoned shipping center. The darkened rooms were creepy enough, but to find out that it was abandoned was even worse. Old desk, debri, and litter were scattered throughout the building. Her flashlight beam bounced off an old mirror on the wall and caught her in the eyes.

“Ah!” She pointed the light elsewhere.

“Sabine?” Hera called from a floor down.

“Fine!” She yelled.

When she agreed to this mission, stumbling around in the dark looking for a control panel was not what she had in mind. The building had two floors, upon entering Sabine and Hera decided to split up and take different floors. There was a hole in the middle of a room where you could look from one floor to the next but it was so frayed with rebars and dermacret sticking up and scattered all over the place that Sabine wouldn’t dare stepping on it and risking sending a piece to the floor below and injuring (or scaring) Hera. She flounders around in the dark for a little while longer before reaching what she believes to be the control room.

“Hera,” she says into her comm, “I think I found it!”

_Great job, Sabine!_ \- comes the reply - _I’ll be right there!_

Sabine carefully walks forward, sending several small pieces of dermacret all over the place, until she reached a control panel. She calculated the buttons to press before hitting what she believed to be the correct ones. The building seemed to hum with life as lights came on. Sighing with relief, she put her flashlight away. She plugged a flash drive into the panel and began to download the intel they needed.

“Well, look who’s a smartiepants.” Sabine whirled around at the raspy voice.

A person, who was previously hidden in the darkness and behind a chunk of dermacret, was walking towards her. She didn’t hesitate at unclipping one of her blasters.

“Who are you?”

“Oh, we never got the pleasure of being introduced.” The mask muffled the voice, but the person didn’t bother to remove it.

She surveyed them. A blaster was clipped at their hip, the lanky person was wearing an ugly brown jumpsuit with a red mask that did not suite the already unfashionable outfit well.

“Why don’t you give me the pleasure then?” The person moved their hands towards their face, too quickly for Sabine’s liking. She tightened her fingers around the trigger.

“Easy,” they said, “just take it-”

Before she could react the person had their gun trained on her.

“Hey!” She shouted.

“Sabine?” Hera called.

“Oh?” The person said. “Another one?”

She didn’t like the way they said ‘another’, almost like Hera was a present.

“It’s my lucky day,” they said.

“Like hell it is.”

“Oh don’t worry, I’m not going to kill you unless you give me trouble-.”

_You might as well shoot me now._

“-and you’re not going to give me trouble now, are you?”

She didn’t reply.

“Who are you?”

“Of course, silly me,” they made no effort to remove the mask, “my name is Rowadam, but that hardly matters. The only name that matters is yours.”

“I’m not giving you my name.”

“That’s not a problem, I already know it.” Sabine nearly dropped her blaster. “Your name is Sabine Wren.”

She stumbled backwards, out of the room. Her blaster still aimed squarely at his chest.

“Don’t run away from me now.” They started walking again.

“Stay away!”

“Sabine!” She was getting closer. Sabine was about to call out her name but didn’t want to in case the person standing 40 feet away didn’t know it.

“So who is that? Kanan Jarrus? Ezra Bridger? Garazeb Orrelios? Or Hera Syndulla?” As they went through the list of her crewmates every name felt like a kick to the gut.

“If you hadn’t already figured it out, I’m a bounty hunter, and you’ve got a lot of credits on your head child.”

“Glad to know I’m worth so much.”

“Hm,” they nodded, “what did you do to piss off the Empire?”

“You’d be impressed.”

“I’m sure.”

Sabine was just waiting for Hera to arrive, and the bounty hunter knew it. She didn’t know what else to do.

“Sabine!” Hera called again, so close, perhaps only a room away. 

“We’re over here!” The hunter called. 

“Wha-” She swallowed her question when she saw Sabine pointing a blaster at a stranger. She pulled her pistol from her belt. 

“Who are you?”

“Honestly, my friend Sabine and I just went through this entire conversation.”

The three went silent. Sabine glanced at Hera and saw a plan formulating. They were standing shoulder to shoulder against a threat, nothing they haven’t done before.

“Now!” Hera yelled, she pushed Sabine behind a large piece of dermacret and she dove behind a wall. Shots were fired from the hunter’s blaster. Sabine poked her head over the top of the dermacret and shot at the person, who dove for protection.

“See, the Empire pays even if you’re dead!” Neither of them talked but instead responded by firing shots at them.

“I’ll cover you, head back to the _Phantom_.” Hera whispered to Sabine.

“I’m not leaving without you.” More shots fired.

“Fine, just head that way.” Hera gestured to the large hole in the ground, connecting the two floors. Sabine nodded, she didn’t have another plan. She clipped her blaster to her belt and prepared for the dash.

“Go!” Hera lay cover fire while Sabine ducked her head and ran. She heard the shots behind her but didn’t stop until she reached the hole in the ground. She unclipped her blaster and got ready to lay cover fire for Hera as she ran.

“Hera!” She shouted. She saw Hera rise from her hiding place and Sabine lay cover fire and Hera sprinted to where she was waiting. The dermacret slid underneath her feet.

“Careful when you jump down,” Hera warned, eyeing the pieces of rebar sticking up out of the ground.

“Yeah,” Sabine lept down to the next floor and landed with grace. Hera tried to follow, but just as she was about to jump the bounty hunter started firing shots. Sabine watched helplessly in slow motion as Hera, poised to jump, turned her head in surprise at the hunter. The piece of dermacret under her feet slipped, and she started to fall with no control as to where she was going to land. A scream ripped from Sabine’s throat as she watched her friend be impaled on a metal rebar.

The bounty hunter poked their head over the side of the hole. The last sight they ever saw was Hera with a rebar through her stomach, Sabine shot them clean through the skull. Their limp body landed next to Hera’s. Sabine rushed to her. Much to her relief, she could see her chest moving up and down.

_You’re going to be okay, you’re going to be okay._ Sabine meant to say those words out loud but was afraid Hera would hear her voice crack.

Luckily the rebar wasn’t long, it only stuck about an inch or two above her stomach. But time was running out, a pool of blood was forming, fast.

Sabine spoke carefully. “Hera, I’m going to pull you.” She didn’t wait for an answer. She took hold her Hera’s hands and pulled with all her might. Someone screamed, it might of been Sabine. The rebar slipped out of Hera’s body with a nasty sound. Hera didn’t make any noise, and was extremely pale.

“Hera?” She pleaded. She put Hera’s arm over her shoulder and slipped her arm under Hera’s arm, supporting her, while being able to carry her. Sabine carried her past the bounty hunter’s lifeless body, she tried not to look. But her foot brushed past something hollow on the ground. When she looked, she saw a red helmet with a carbon blast through it. Sabine walked as quickly as she could. Hera was somewhat conscious, she was able to walk a few steps but had to stop often, only starting again after Sabine pleads with her.

“Please Hera, you want to see Kanan again right?” Sabine tried walking a few steps but collapsed under the weight. “Kanan needs you right now.” Due to his run-in with Maul, that was the truth. She did manage to make it a couple hundred feet after that comment, but then collapsed into a heap. The loss of blood was a pressing issue. Sabine removed her plackart and ripped the shirt underneath and pressed the cloth to the gushing wound. Hera’s usual bright green skin has been replaced by a sickly pea color.

“You’re gonna make it,” she now had the strength to say it outloud. She could see the _Phantom_ from here. Unfortunately they did not bring Chopper, if they had Sabine would call on the robot to fly the ship closer but that was not an option right now. She could- yes, yes. That’s what she will do. “Hera, stay here.” She placed Hera’s hand over her own, holding the cloth to the wound. She made a sound, but Sabine couldn’t make out the words.

“Hold on!” She called as she sprinted to the _Phantom_. She was out of breath by the time she made it there but she didn’t stop. The back of the _Phantom_ opened and she ducked inside, throwing herself on the controls bringing the ship to life. The stitch in her side made her sit awkwardly on the seat. She carefully lifted the ship up and drove it forward, flying it right up to the entrance of the building. Sabine darted out of the back and dashed to Hera. You’re gonna be okay, you’re gonna be okay. Sabine picked Hera up again, against her moans of protest.

“I know, I know, I’m sorry.” Sabine reached the _Phantom_ again and lay Hera on the floor, positioning the cloth underneath the wound trying to soak up more blood. She walked around Hera to the controls, and she took off leaving the cursed building behind. The _Ghost_ was in the atmosphere of the same planet, waiting on the women’s return. Their lovely day of playing games and training was interrupted by Sabine’s frantic call.

\- _Kanan!_

“Was that Sabine?” Ezra sat up in the copilot’s chair, where previously he was relaxing.

“I think it was,” Kanan replied.

\- _Sabine?_

Relief washed over the girl when she heard his voice. A soft voice behind her whispered his name. Sabine looked back at Hera, who seemed to have stirred at his voice.

\- _Kanan, we’re in trouble._ Panic filled him.

\- _Are you okay? What’s the trouble?_

\- _Kanan, Hera got impaled on a rebar._

Kanan was speechless.

\- _Is she okay?_

It was a dumb question. No, of course she’s not okay. But he was holding out hope. Sabine couldn’t bring herself to respond. She turned to look at Hera, she started making horrible gasping noises and sweating terribly.

\- _Just-just make sure you’re ready to jump in hyperspace._


	2. Chapter 2

The medcenter’s cooling unit froze Sabine around the midriff where she ripped her shirt to make a bandage for- for Hera. Somehow, with the other’s help, she had been able to get her medical attention before it was too late.

She watched through a dark window as Hera was breathing through a tube. Dressed in white, looking deathly pale. The shadows under her eyes increased by tenfold. The man standing next to her put a hand and her shoulder. She watched his face carefully.

_ Can you feel her hanging onto life by a thread? _ She wanted to ask him.  _ You can’t see her, but I know that you can understand how much pain she’s in. _

The hand on her shoulder was supposed to be a comforting gesture, but all it did was make her feel guilty. It was her fault that she’s like this. If only she had checked the room more thoroughly. She could’ve refused to jump first, maybe then she wouldn’t of fallen and gotten impaled.

“It’s not your fault.” Kanan whispered as if he could read her thoughts. She wanted to laugh. Of course it was, there were a million things that she could’ve done to prevent it. Ezra and Zeb said nothing. They sat behind her, staring off into the distance. The doctors worked on Hera, their voices muffled by the glass separating the crew from their captain. Hera’s chest moved up and down as the machine helped her breathe, reassuring her crew that no matter how bad she looked she is still alive. Fifteen minutes went by, half an hour…. Time was slow and fast at the same time. At one point the monitors surrounding Hera went berserk, the doctors quickened their pace. Ezra and Zeb rushed to the window to understand what was happening, they didn’t anything satisfying. Eventually, the monitors calmed allowing everyone to take a deep breath. Hera’s chest continued to move up in down in a rhythm and nobody said a word.

She wanted to cry. To fall to pieces and break down. They all tried to console her at one point, but she noticed the way that they shuffled their feet and avoided her gaze with tears in their eyes. They all knew it was her fault, no one wanted to speak it outloud.

Time passes, her feet began to ache so she tore herself away from the window and took a seat next to Ezra. Kanan kept staring through the window.  _ Can he cry? _ She wondered.  _ Even with damaged eyes?  _ She didn’t know how it happened, or when, but she fell asleep. She woke when Ezra shook her shoulder.

“Hey, we’re going back to the Ghost.”

“What?” She sat up, blinking her eyes to quickly adjust to the bright lights.

“We’re going back to the Ghost. While you slept, the doctor came and told us that she’s stable but needs to sleep.”

“We can’t, what if she wakes up?”   


“Then I’ll comm you.” Kanan interjected.

“You’re not coming?” Zeb asked.

“No, I’m going to wait here.”

 

Back on the  _ Ghost _ Sabine couldn’t go to sleep again. So she tried to take care of the maintenance the ship needed, but without Hera the place felt empty. A few days have gone by and the entire ship seemed to be in mourning. Kanan spent as much time as he could at the medibay with her, which is understandable. Without him a lot of stuff that needed to get done, didn’t.. So Ezra, Zeb, and Sabine had to step up.

Zeb started cooking meals, some of which actually turned out pretty good. Sabine chuckled at a memory of Zeb attempting to cook bread but it felt like trying  to shove a rock down your gullet. When Ezra made the very same comment on it, Zeb picked up the rock and threw it at him narrowingly missing and hitting Chopper instead.

It was mostly fun and games during the day. Fixing something here, fixing something there, eat something Zeb made, fix another thing. But as soon as the sun went past the horizon and everyone retired to their quarters for the night. That’s when the nightmares came. Sabine would watch Hera’s funeral, where everyone was dressed in black and the flames engulfed their beloved friend. As soon as the flames died everyone would turn to Sabine, even those who consoled her in the medibay, and scream at her for not doing more.    
She saw Hera dying. It was like a recreated moment from when they lost the battle with the Mandalorians, where Hera returned from hyperspace unconscious. Except when Hera took her hand, she never moved again. The bounty hunter’s lifeless body falling to the ground and their head rolling and hitting her foot.. Dreams like those had Sabine waking up screaming. Her door would open and the rest of the crew would rush in and attempt to calm her down, Zeb would take Sabine in his arms and rock her, Ezra would fetch warmed milk, Kanan held her hand. Even through those times she could not get the words that they would say in her dreams, how she had failed.

 

One night, Kanan didn’t come back from the medibay. Sabine could not get the thoughts out of her head.   
_ She’s dead, she’s dead. It’s all your fault she’s dead. Why didn’t you do something quicker? Why didn’t you warn her? She’s dead. _

Zeb prepared a meal but nobody felt like eating. They made small talk, but no conversation lasted for more than a minute. Eventually they gave up and sat on the couch, holding hands, waiting for the worst.    
  


It was excruciating.    
  


Sabine remembered a time at the Imperial Academy. There was a battle simulation test, one that would determine whether or not you could be an officer. At the time, it was the most important thing in the world. She studied and practiced for weeks, preparing herself for the moment that would make or break her. And when the day finally arrived, the cadets were lined up outside the door and one by one they were sent in.    
Sabine recalled the fear, anticipation, and unease all built up inside her stomach wrapped up into a ball. That’s how she felt now. As they sat in the dark, waiting for the hours to go by. And as time went on, the tighter her stomach felt until she said what they were all thinking.   


“What if she’s dead?”   


“What?” Ezra asked.   


“What if she’s dead?” She repeated.    


“Don’t be stupid.” Zeb uttered.    


“I’m not, we’re all thinking it.”   


Silence. Confirming her fear.    


“She’s not dead.” Ezra said.    


“How do you know?”   


“I would’ve felt it.”   
_ That’s true.  _ Sabine felt a little better. Of course, he could be lying. Sabine looked at his face. Nothing about it told her that lhe was lying, plus he is really bad at lying so she relied on his instincts.   
Before any of them knew it, the sun had rose and there was no sign of Kanan. Sleep-deprived Sabine decided to start her morning routine. As she stood, Ezra shot to his feet.    


“What?” Zeb questioned.    


“They’re back.” Ezra whispered, dashing to hit the button to release the ramp. Zeb and Sabine barely had time to glance at each other before running after Ezra. Sabine felt all those emotions, fear, anticipation, and unease building up in her gut.    
But the ball in her stomach disappeared when in the distance, Sabine saw a masked man leading a green Twi’lek with a cane up the ramp, coming home.


End file.
